Originally published on August 30, 2011 in our free BigLaw newsletter. Instead of reading BigLaw here after the fact, sign up now to receive future issues in realtime.
Have you ever noticed how much large firm junior associates complain? Well, if you're smart, the answer is "no" because you've already learned to tune that noise out. If you stop and listen though, you might realize that the low rumbling you hear all day isn't actually your HVAC, but an ungrateful recent law grad whining about his terrible life.
Sure, some legitimate complaints exist like in any job. You have to spend your life in a temperature controlled Class A high-rise, and suffer daily under the crippling moral obligations that come with earning multiples of the average household income.
These problems aside, your young lawyers don't know how good they've got it. Below you'll find just a few of the many reasons they should express more gratitude. I encourage you to circulate this issue of BigLaw throughout your firm — especially to said junior associates.
Dude, You Have a Secretary!
The President of the United States has a total of fourteen secretaries, from Hillary Clinton in the State Department to Janet Napolitano, Secretary of Homeland Security. If you're at a typical large firm, you're probably sharing your secretary with two or three other associates, and one partner. By secretary ratio, the President, the most powerful man in the world, is only 56 times greater than you. By the same metric, you are infinitely greater than anyone without a secretary who has to lick their own envelopes.
That is a lot of greatness to have bestowed on you at the start of your career, so learn to appreciate it. And, unlike the President who has to cover for his secretaries when re-election time rolls around, with just a little bit of greenback grease, your secretary will cover for you. Think Timothy Geithner will spin a yarn for the press corps when Obama takes the morning off to play golf? Not a chance.
Freebies > Cost of Living
Sure, if you're in large firm that means you're also in a big city with some big city rent to pay. You'll also probably have to spend a few of your first paychecks expanding your professional attire.
But you can easily offset these expenses with the lower cost of living that accompanies your lifestyle. No need to shell out $3 or more every morning for coffee or $10 on lunch when you can get free or highly subsidized coffee and food from your cafeteria. Dinner is of course free and delivered as long as you work late. And don't forget about all those free office supplies. You need never step foot in Staples again. Binders, pens, stickies, you name it!
With your late nights and uncertain weekend hours, you're not going to spend a whole lot of money on entertainment and leisure. Those $12 movie tickets can really add up, and a single cancelled vacation can net you four-digit savings (assuming you make refundable plans).
Finally, you can kiss goodbye that money drain called dating. Guys, no more accidentally buying dinner, dessert, and a bottle of wine for someone who has no intention of ever seeing you again. Gals, no need to waste money getting your hair and nails done more than twice a year.
Court Appearances Are Overrated
Here's what great about court appearances as a junior associate — you don't have any. You're not even saddled with the awkwardness of turning them down. Partners will demonstrate their good manners by not even asking you to go.
Your friends may think it's strange that you're a litigator who last saw the inside of a court room during your swearing in ceremony. Don't bother trying to explain why you have it so good. Just smile. After all, did you spend three years and a hundred thousand dollars of tuition on trial advocacy classes? Of course not! You studied case law, the intellectual heavy lifting of legal thought, the meat and potatoes of practice.
Court is a hassle. It's nerve-wracking. You have to leave the office to get there, and you have to wear a suit. A whole entire suit — tie, jacket, everything. You also have to deal with cranky judges and meet opposing counsel face to face. And that's just motion practice. Don't even get me started on the horrors of trials and voir dire.
Staying at the office from 10 am to 10 pm every day is paradise by comparison. Besides, no one ever got held in contempt while in the office library (though shoddy document review can get your firm sanctioned and you fired so take note).
Hanging With Buffet
Above prestige, engaging work, and the daily satisfaction of working elbow-to-elbow with the brightest minds in one of the brightest industries, a large firm job first and foremost means big money.
Some detractors will point to how much of your salary goes to service your student loan debt, but you'll pay it off after 15 or so years — sooner if you live at home or with a roommate in a neighborhood just starting the process of gentrification (look for a neighborhood suffering more from burglary than from violent crime).
Others will note that your salary isn't really that large thanks to federal, state, and in some cases local progressive income taxes. Pay them no mind. They're just jealous. After all, you're on equal footing with Warren Buffet (according to Warren Buffet), and would feel privileged to pay even higher taxes.
Still others will point out that on an hourly basis you earn less than your secretary. However, what they fail to consider is that your secretary doesn't get to keep working past 6 pm or bill hours on the weekend. You see, it isn't just about great pay, but about opportunities to contribute to the firm's profits per partner. Chances are that you'll never partake in any of those profits as a partner yourself, but keep your head high and the dream alive. Shine on you crazy diamond.
Written by BL1Y of Constitutional Daily.
How to Receive BigLaw
Many large firms have good reputations for their work and bad reputations as places to work. Why? Answering this question requires digging up some dirt, but we do with the best of intentions. Published first via email newsletter and later here on our blog, BigLaw analyzes the business practices, marketing strategies, and technologies used by the country's biggest law firms in an effort to unearth best and worst practices. The BigLaw newsletter is free so don't miss the next issue. Please subscribe now.
