Originally published on July 19, 2010 in our free SmallLaw newsletter.
Fear is incredibly powerful. It makes us do things we wouldn't otherwise do. More importantly, it stops us from doing things we'd like to do. Fear stinks. It's fear that slows us down when it comes to marketing. I've seen it stop otherwise amazing lawyers in their tracks. Let's explore a recent example.
A lawyer — let's call her Ellen — recently phoned me seeking advice about building referrals from other attorneys, professionals, clergy, and physicians. Ellen has generated business from her former clients, Web site, and involvement in a local professional women's group. She wants to grow her practice, but she doesn't have the resources or the desire to spend big money on advertising.
We generated a plan together. The plan is simple. Ellen's going to find 20 referral sources — 10 attorneys and 10 other professionals. She's going to call them one at a time and arrange lunch or coffee. We developed a script for the conversation and a follow-up plan. We even worked through a system for selecting the first 20 prospects and a process for culling them over time so she kept the best and eliminated the least productive contacts. Ellen agreed to go to work on the plan immediately. In fact, she committed to make the first call immediately after we hung up the phone.
What happened? You guessed it. Nothing.
Did she call me and say, "I'm scared, I can't do it?" Of course not. She called with questions: "Should I really have 20?" "Can I add more lawyers and fewer others?" "What do I say if they don't want to have lunch?" and on and on. She had questions to ask, but more significantly, she had fears to address. She was stalling and delaying. It's easy to avoid action when we're afraid.
What was she afraid of? Someone saying no to her lunch invitation? Someone refusing to take her call? Someone saying he or she didn't have time to talk? Yes, all of those possibilities and more.
Irrational Fear
You've seen phobias in your clients. Fear is amazing. It seems perfectly reasonable when you're experiencing it. It's easy to rationalize it so that it seems appropriate.
I'm great at rationalizing my fears — snakes, for example. They're dangerous. People die from snakebites. Many of them are poisonous, and therefore, it's better to avoid all snakes. In fact, if you see one while you're out on a hike, it's best to turn around and go the other way. Actually, it's better to skip the hike and go to the movies instead. Snakes could ruin my life if I let them.
From a distance, you can see that Ellen's fear is unreasonable. You know that she's going to be fine and that most people are gladly going to have lunch with her. More importantly, you can see that when someone rejects her invitation, she won't suffer any consequences other than losing five minutes on the phone. Her fear is irrational, and it's interfering with her pursuit of her goals.
Unfortunately, her fear is real to her, and it's stopping her dead in her tracks.
May It Please the Court
You've overcome fear in the past. Each of us has addressed fear in one context or another. It might have been public speaking or test taking. Lots of us have addressed fear of the courtroom. Because of our fear, most of us were very nervous when we first appeared in court. It took me a very long time to overcome my anxiety and reach a point where I could process what was happening in the courtroom and deviate from my carefully made plans about what I was going to say and do. Over time, I conditioned myself to a higher comfort level in court. It was a slow, painful, and deliberate adjustment process.
I mention the court experience because, for many of us, it offers many similarities to the marketing experience. It's something new. It's something we need to do. It's something we can easily imagine ourselves doing. Yet it's something that, at least for a time, caused us a great deal of stress, and sometimes the stress caused us to make concessions and compromises so that we could avoid the courtroom.
For some reason, those of us who overcame our courtroom fear decided that we had to master that situation if we were to succeed. I suppose our desire to succeed was more powerful than our fear. We did what we had to do.
That's where Ellen is with her marketing. She's deciding whether her need to succeed is more powerful than her fear. She's struggling because marketing, unlike a court appearance, isn't quite so black and white. We don't have a deadline or a client. We lack the clarity we have in the litigation process. She doesn't have that moment where the judge says "motion denied" because she failed in court. She has to deal with court, or she suffers immediate consequences.
The consequences from failing to market are far less obvious. If Ellen gives in to her fear, she earns less money each year. She'll have fewer vacations and fewer dinners out, and her retirement plan will suffer.
How to Overcome Your Fear of Marketing
So what can you do about your fear of marketing? You've addressed fear before and overcome it, so you can do it again. Marketing anxiety (some experts call it "sales call reluctance") is challenging. It's easy to spend a 40-year legal career without addressing this fear. Unfortunately, this fear has consequences as it can cost you hundreds of thousands of dollars in referrals.
To overcome your fear you must recognize it. Knowledge, especially self-knowledge, is power. Your reasons for failing to act aren't based in reality. Only with this realization can you start shifting your attitudes and taking steps to overcome your fear. Increasing your awareness of your attitudes will enable you to challenge yourself and take the steps you need to take to grow your practice. You've done it before. You can do it again.
Written by Lee Rosen of Divorce Discourse.
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